Someone enters your home and their words tear apart what, for you, was lovely and fit your family perfectly. I think hurt feelings and defensiveness come to all new mamas, wherever they live, when we are confronted with unsolicited advice, criticism, and worst of all doubts about our abilities to correctly raise and nurture our child.
This is where we found ourselves during a visit we had from a family this week. Goldilocks in this case was the wife of my husband's friend - a very direct young woman with two children. The details of those words are not important, but the lesson our Father gave to me afterward (and a bit of humor) were the blessing.
I need to forgive as I have been forgiven much and have been freely offered grace. This is the same grace He is extending to this family, to the woman who hurt my feelings that night. My Father wants for this woman to come to know Him and to bring beauty to the ashes of her life, joy where there is hurting, and freedom where there is guilt and shame.
I did not react to her the way the mama bear in the story of Goldilocks reacted to her destruction of the home she had so lovingly set up. I was upset and vented to my husband afterward, prayed, and told a couple of friends afterward, though.
In retrospect, this young woman saw some things that she did not have a cultural framework for and had to in good conscience react to them because she was taught to do things differently. We always would choose to do what our doctor or mama had taught us to do, right? When that is challenged in practice by another, we react. Plain and simple -- though not easy when you're called out for being the one who deterred from normative mothering. Thankfully, though, the Father showed me that it was partially catty and partially because this woman struggles with bitterness.
On the up side, our daughters had a lovely time together which melted both of our hearts...
...and their exit was particularly comical from a safety standpoint.
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